Divorce coach launches free support group for men with 'nowhere to turn'

A Maidenhead woman is offering a new free support service for men going through divorce – feeling that men have ‘almost nowhere to turn’ during this difficult transition.

Kerry Farrell is a divorce coach who switched careers following her own two divorces.

“If I’d had a divorce coach, life would have been an awful lot easier,” she said.

When she met her third and current husband, he also had a history that featured a ‘very traumatic breakup and divorce’.

The difference was that he got ‘very little support,’ whereas Kerry feels she got quite a lot as a woman.

“Whereas a woman may have a large group of friends or she’ll go to a counsellor, men don’t tend to do that so much. [Men are] struggling in silence,” said Kerry.

Despite the significant mental health impacts of separation, divorce ‘is still treated almost entirely as a legal and financial process’ for men, Kerry said.

“I think men can be brought up to feel they need to stay strong and be the ones who carry and support other people,” said Kerry. “They’re not always brought up to feel they can talk about their feelings.”

Her market research told her that men mainly wanted some emotional support.

“They wanted to be able to approach men and [receive support] but they didn’t always get that,” said Kerry.

“They might have a friend tell them to man up, or that there’s plenty more fish in the sea.

“I wanted to concentrate on giving men someone in their corner.”

Kerry’s online group coaching and peer support service, Team Rebuild, will offer two key elements; practical support and that much-needed emotional support.

People may need help communicating with an ex or coping without having their children full time.

“When you get divorced, regardless of whether it was your idea, you still go through the same grieving process,” said Kerry.

“You lose the landscape of what you thought your future was going to be.

“It’s a closing door, and that’s what hurts.

“But another door opens, and once you’ve accepted that your future now looks different, you can build something amazing.”

Within peer support – whereby the men enter a supportive space together – moderators will ‘gently guide’ people away from toxicity, such as ranting about exes.

“It needs to be a positive space for people to grow – you can’t get that if everybody’s backbiting," said Kerry.

“The point of peer support is you realise you’re not the only one going through it.

“You’re not the only man awake at 3am wondering if there’s any point in going on.

“You’re not the only man who’s living off breakfast cereal and missing his kids desperately.

“If they know that other men feel the same [and are getting through it], it’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”

Team Rebuild launches on March 30, featuring weekly live group coaching calls and an online resource library.

It is free because ‘not everyone can afford one-to-one coaching when they’re going through a divorce,’ Kerry said.

Visit kerryfarrell.co.uk to find out more about Team Rebuild.